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Sunday, July 16, 2006

Local news terrorism

Supposedly, we're fighting a war against "terror". Fear. A vague concept, rather than specific individuals. Of course, we know the names of people we're looking for, but if we leave it at "war on terror" we can wreak havoc on whomever we choose.

A war on terror would likely mean bomb anything that scares us. Spiders, the dark. But our media driven society is fueled on fear. Nowhere is that clearer than with the local news... "How you're going to die... tonight at 6!"

Even worse, the WEATHER reporters are trying to frighted us. A certain local TV channel now calls it's weather report "First WARNING weather." It's funny in the springtime. It's gonna be nice. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! They have this technology called "live doppler radar" which they mention every 6 seconds in their ads (I timed it). Apparently, this technology may one day be almost as effective as looking out the window. "Other stations" they go on to say, "have information that may be up to 5 MINUTES old. Why trust information that won't keep you safe?" A good point, if said information is "DUCK!". Other than that, I can wait 5 minutes.

Do we bomb meteorologists now?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Dirty nasty auto parts...

I'll bet she does....

Phunny Phone Book

I has a lousy day today, let's just leave it at that. As a result, however, I was looking through the Lewiston-Auburn phonebook(2004 smartpages if you wanna read along), and on page 62, where they have the three letters that signify what part of the alphabet you're on, was listed "Dub-Dum", only to be topped by page 63, "Dum-Dur".

The moral: Let your fingers do the walking, so long as they don't try and chew gum at the same time.

Friday, February 3, 2006

The superhero I've always wanted to be

On local TV stations, there's a commercial produced on about $20 budget, for the "Big Book". It's basically another yellow pages. Their commercials feature a potbellied man in a blue supersuit, helping out this lady who is about to have a stroke because her sink is clogged. He says "Have no fear, big book man is here! Big book is filled with listings for plumbers just waiting to wash your woes away!"

The nest scene, she's happy, the soapy water is out of her sink, and she dresses better. She says "Thank you big book man! You saved the day!"

What an awesome super hero that would be... Go into a troublesome situation, give the victim a phone book and tell them to call someone who cares.

Thursday, February 2, 2006

State of the Union

The state of the union is strong, huh? I almost think I could take it in a fair fight.

Another great idea - let's focus money and resources preventing human-animal hybrids!

Singing: (to the tune of "God Bless the USA")

I'm ashamed to be an American
I can remember being free
and I won't forget the ones who died
They were tossed away lightly
Bug I'd proudly stand up, and take her back,
If progress were on it's way
But there ain't no doubt I love this land...
so God Save the USA

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Stop Being Fat!!! Eat MORE?

Sorta. I found the wonders of protein shakes. I've been trying to get my body out of "storage" mode for the longest time - it's a result of eating one primary meal, usually at the end of each day.

I'd been skeptical of shakes ever since my Slim-Fast days. Those are good for nutrition, but as satisfying as a glass of NesQuik(Why did they change the name?). I've found a reasonably good-tasting shake, mostly whey and soy protein. Mix it with water in blender, and it gets the consistency of a fast-food "milk"shake. Tastes pretty OK, too.

Here's the best part. Sooooo satisfying. If I get the munchies during the day, make a shake. If I'm still hungry after one of those (one shake fills two 16 oz. tumblers and is FILLING) I'll eat whatever I'm craving. I'm getting muscles. Not like bodybuilding muscles or anything grandiose, but the odd crease and bulge where before there were none. I've had more energy. I'm clearer-headed.

By going for two of these wonderful things a day, I get lotsa vitamins, protein, aminos and good stuff, I don't eat just, and I make sure I keep my metabolism up a bit.

Love it. Picture to come when I gets me a haircut :)

Thursday, January 19, 2006

New Horizons

I'm sure you've heard of the launch of the New Horizons probe. It's the first ship launched specifically to study Pluto and the outlying Kuiper Belt. I love it! Ever since I was a kid, I've looked up into the sky, and tried to imagine what it might be like on the surface of another planet or moon, looking back at the speck of light that is Earth.

Even better, Clyde Tombaugh's widow, Patsy Tombaugh, is alive to see the momentous occasion, as is Venetia Burney Phair, who, at 11 years old, had the honor of naming the "planet" after the Roman god of the underworld.

I can only imagine what it must be like for them, to see this day arrive at last. I only hope my daughter gets to see some day as important.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006


Starting from the inauguration at the beginning of the year, 2005 was certainly a year that kept us on our toes. Starting the year with the aftermath of "the" tsunami, this has been a big year for disasters.

Of course there's nature. Tsunami, Earthquakes, big big hurricanes, and LOTS of them!

Have to mention the current president. The world frequently says of America "The second biggest mistake Americans made was electing Bush. The biggest was electing him a second time". It seems an administration based on a do-what-you-feel-like attitude. Replace the head of FEMA, who had years of experience actually managing emergency situation, with a guy with no emergency management experience, AND was asked to resign his former job as a judge of arabian horses. On June 5th, cut the budget that was intended for use to repair the damaged levee system in New Orleans. Send our armed forces overseas. What's the worst that could happen?

Once the veil is ripped away, don't apologize. Not for a while anyway, and definitely not sincerely. After that, nominate someone for the Supreme Court who has never been a judge. To heck with what people really think.

The pope died. A genuinely good man. I won't speak ill of him as I have a huge amount of respect for John Paul II.

Michael Jackson was found not guilty. Then he fled the country. It was a victory after all. I do feel bad for the guy. I don't know him, but he seems to have huge issues he should be dealing with rather than acting like a child.

Lots of republicans are corrupt. Blatantly. Who knew?

I've come to realize the error of my ways regarding religion. I've met many people who honestly believe in what they practice. Humble people, who are willing to give more of themselves than they have to give. It doesn't seem that way in the media. The more vocal religious figures are out for publicity, and money. Their views propagate their individual agendas, not spirituality.

That being said, I'm getting back to the dumbing down of society. Evolution is being debated. Not by people who understand it, mind you, that would lend validity to any arguments. People who believe the bible has to be the literal truth, sort of an all-or-nothing view. If the world and allt he creatures weren't created in 7 24-hour days, there is no God. How messed up is that? That doesn't sound like faith(I hear tell that you need it to get into heaven). Besides, evolution isn't being promoted to discourage spirituality, it's wondering at the dynamic nature of life, whatever the original source may be. It's based on the best scientific evidence we have, so it warrants teaching in science class.

Kentucky voted to teach evolution as a "flawed theory" and include intellegent design as a viable alternative. Georgia put stickers on science books, saying "evolution is a theory, not a fact" and so on. That was already being taught. You know, the theory of evolution as is listed in every danged science book. Also, in science class, they teach you what a theory is. Dumbasses.

The catholic church doesn't even want intellegent design taught in science classes. They admit it's not science, it's religion, and should be taught in such a setting. Who knew in 2005, the Catholic Church would start making sense to me?

There may be a tenth planet, which may wind up being our ninth, if Pluto's status is taken away.

Of course, there are people saying there are soooooo many signs of the end of the world. Lots of hurricanes, which happen every so many years, earthquakes, which happen all the time, war, famine, drought. All signs of being on Earth.

We have a very brief window in which eyes are open. Let's take advantage, and take steps forward as a race(humans). We are aware of suffering, we know we have to be more active in government, and we know we have to prepare. We have a chance to advance greatly, if we all work together, and I'm very hopeful humanity will take the lesson of 2005 to heart, and make things better.