Dirty nasty auto parts...

I'll bet she does....

Phunny Phone Book

I has a lousy day today, let's just leave it at that. As a result, however, I was looking through the Lewiston-Auburn phonebook(2004 smartpages if you wanna read along), and on page 62, where they have the three letters that signify what part of the alphabet you're on, was listed "Dub-Dum", only to be topped by page 63, "Dum-Dur".

The moral: Let your fingers do the walking, so long as they don't try and chew gum at the same time.

The superhero I've always wanted to be

On local TV stations, there's a commercial produced on about $20 budget, for the "Big Book". It's basically another yellow pages. Their commercials feature a potbellied man in a blue supersuit, helping out this lady who is about to have a stroke because her sink is clogged. He says "Have no fear, big book man is here! Big book is filled with listings for plumbers just waiting to wash your woes away!"

The nest scene, she's happy, the soapy water is out of her sink, and she dresses better. She says "Thank you big book man! You saved the day!"

What an awesome super hero that would be... Go into a troublesome situation, give the victim a phone book and tell them to call someone who cares.

State of the Union

The state of the union is strong, huh? I almost think I could take it in a fair fight.

Another great idea - let's focus money and resources preventing human-animal hybrids!

Singing: (to the tune of "God Bless the USA")

I'm ashamed to be an American
I can remember being free
and I won't forget the ones who died
They were tossed away lightly
Bug I'd proudly stand up, and take her back,
If progress were on it's way
But there ain't no doubt I love this land...
so God Save the USA